the church and sex

as christians we should care about chastity and purity, ‘cause god does. too often, however, we merely pay it lip service. caring about it means addressing it and dealing with the tough issues, not just giving the all-too-cliché advice of “just say no.”

one of my favorite movies is mean girls. in it, there's a part where the p.e. teacher (coach carr) is addressing a group of teenage girls. he's giving his "sex-ed" talk and he says, "don't have sex because you will get pregnant and die! don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it! ok, promise? ok, now everybody take some rubbers." i hate to say it, but i feel like the church does the same thing (except the part about rubbers). we are told about all the bad effects of sex but we miss the part about a god in heaven who loves us no matter what we do. we also fail to remind people of the true purpose of sex, in that it was never intended outside marriage.

we all too often hear that our "true love" is waiting for us somewhere. true love is great and all, but it doesn't always come when you're 22 and just finished with college. young adults (or any christians for that matter) shouldn't learn to hold out for some guy or girl that they haven't met or may never meet. they need to be told to do it for god.

i'm not just suggesting that the church should take a different angle on sex; we need a different mind-set altogether. lauren winner suggests this when she says, "if we fear our bodies because they are undisciplined and contingent, messy and willful, we then get especially freaked out about sex, which is one of the places where our bodies are most willful and messiest. when the body becomes something to escape from, the sexual body becomes something to vilify." sex isn't a bad thing. it's not something we should be ashamed to talk or think about. it's in our human nature to need and want this intimacy. we need to learn to discuss this and care for it in a healthy manner. god gave us sex for a reason; it's our job to learn these reasons and teach them to others, no matter how uncomfortable.

real sex, by lauren winner, addresses sex in an honest, intelligent, sincere manner. i'm very thankful that she wrote this book in such a practical and relevant voice. i would recommend it to anyone who is the least bit interested in learning more about the true purpose of sex.